


you'll teach her history and mythology

by bloodysteel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Unexpected event, angsty, post 2x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodysteel/pseuds/bloodysteel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes three months for her to leave Polis and the Grounders. It takes her another month to make it there. Five months away. Counting the months is easier than counting the dead, she thinks bitterly, and something twists in her stomach. She chases the thought away. She does not need to think about them for her ghosts to haunt her. His death is still there, everywhere she goes; it has been for five months. </p><p>And Clarke comes home a little broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you'll teach her history and mythology

It takes three months for her to leave Polis and the Grounders. It takes her another month to make it there. _Five months away_. Counting the months is easier than counting the dead, she thinks bitterly, and something twists in her stomach. She chases the thought away. She does not need to think about them for her ghosts to haunt her. His death is still there, everywhere she goes; it has been for five months.

“You know where to find me, if you change your mind.” Clarke glances back at Lexa and nods at her. The grounders leave her alone on her dark horse, staring at the remnants of the Ark and the camp that built itself around it while she was away. Clarke smiles; Bellamy took great care of their people. She knows Lexa hopes she will return to her but Clarke needs them right now. She will need them even more in the months to come.

She knows she is being unfair to them. Lexa and her people found her in the woods about a week after she left camp and she took her in, guided her to Polis and helped her mend her wounds. Clarke forgave her for she understood her choice better than anyone.

But that did not mean she still resented her a bit for it. Clarke felt betrayed but Clarke needed to take her mind off of the lives she took. So she ended up in Lexa’s arms and forgot about the Ark – until it all came crashing down less than a month later. Clarke did mend her wounds, but she knows the healing can only be complete with _someone_ else on her side. She knew it all along but it was Lexa who forced to face it.

Clarke spurs her horse out of the cover of the woods. They do not fear war against the grounders or the mountain men anymore. Her stomach twists again and Clarke winces. It’s all ~~thanks to~~ because of her. It takes them a long time to spot her and forever to recognize her. Harper is on duty with Miller and she hears their scream to open the door, she hears them calling out the 100 – the 42.

Clarke jumps off of her horse as Miller and Harper run to her. She welcomes them in her arms with a smile, but Harper can’t help but notice the hint of sadness in her eyes. She scans the crowd and her smile widens as she spots dark curls and freckles walking her way. He walks cautiously as if he is not sure that she is real. She waves at him as Harper and Miller stand by her side. She notices he cut his hair and her gaze softens.

Bellamy’s mouth starts to twist into a smile, but then his eyes drop to her belly, and Clarke can see his heart break again. Her smile disappears and she tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She locks eyes with him and starts walking to him, holding her swollen belly with her right arm. It’s a heavy burden to carry but one she is willing to carry.

She comes to face him and doesn’t know what to see, so she just tilts her head and smiles weakly, glancing down at her belly.

“Are you back for good?” he asks and his jaw clenches.

“Yes. I see you’ve done an amazing job here.” He doesn’t answer and Raven comes crashing into Clarke, squeezing her as hard as she can. Clarke holds her as tight as she can too, and when Raven pulls back slowly, she’s staring at her belly. When she looks up at her, tears are forming in both their eyes.

“Let’s get you inside, your mother is in the med bay. Harper, tell the others Clarke is back.” Bellamy watches Raven lead Clarke to the med bay. Miller joins him and punches his arm. Bellamy looks at his friend and sees he is glaring at him. He lowers his eyes and walks away.

Everyone is happy to see Clarke – except maybe Jasper who just avoids her. Even Octavia hugged her when she saw her. Her mother barely leaves her side and Raven has to almost fight her to get some time alone with her blond friend. Wick helps and pretends the Chancellor is needed somewhere else. Clarke is thankful, but she somehow feels a bit empty too. She’s back, she’s home. That’s what she wanted but a part of her still wants to run away as fast as she can.

But she stays, and slays her fears.

“I understand why you left, I wish I could have said goodbye, but I understand.” Raven says, staring into the fire before them. Clarke nods and waits for her to carry on. Raven can be a talker, but you just have to let her start properly and let her build her speech.

“I’m glad you’re back, too. _Everyone_ is.” Clarke winces. She knows it to be at least partly true. She wants to say _sorry_ , she wants this forgiveness he was so willing to give her but she knows deep inside that is not what she truly needs. “We will help you, just need to let us help you. You don’t have to go through it all alone.” Clarke sets her head on Raven’s shoulder and the mechanic wraps her arm around her waist. Her hand caresses her belly and Clarke lets herself be soothed by her friend.

“Raven is right.” Octavia sits down next to Clarke. Clarke turns her face to her and smiles a bit. She grabs her hand and squeezes it. Then Clarke notices that all their friends are here with her and they’re all nodding at her. She wants to cry and can’t stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. She missed them so much.

“Whoever the father is, I will hunt him down for leaving you alone if you want me to. I got very good at hunting, you know.” Octavia smiles at her, holding out a long knife. Clarke tries to laugh but her heart sinks. A lump forms in her throat and she chokes on a sob.

“Thanks Octavia.” She manages to say without stuttering. “Already done it.” She smiles bitterly and Raven wraps her arms around her body. Octavia frowns and is about to ask for an explanation. But the baby moves inside Clarke and she suddenly grabs Raven’s hand to make her feel the little kicks of her child to be. Raven squeals and looks at her with round surprised her. Raven smiles widely and Clarke wipes away her tears with the back of her hand.

Octavia’s face is stuck into a frown of concern and she looks at Raven for some kind of explanation when the realization hits her. She catches her breath and looks at Monty sitting across the fire. He closes his eyes and Miller holds him close. No one dares look at Clarke now – and that’s what she feared most when she decided to come back. That and _his_ resentment.

“I’m feeling a bit tired, the baby is taking up all my energy. Have a good night guys.” Raven starts to rise up to follow her but Clarke stops her with a hand on her shoulder. Clarke might be pregnant and tired easily, but she remains the leader and the independent woman she’s become the day they landed on the Earth.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke.” Octavia whispers to her, sadness overwhelming the ocean of her eyes. Clarke smiles at her, she would never hold it against her. She looked this hurricane of a girl too much for it. So Clarke walked on her own to her tent. Her former was given to someone else months ago and Clarke has a new one now, but almost all her stuff is in it. Her mother kept it all for the day she would come back. She lights up a candle and grabs an old notebook they found in a bunker when they arrived on the Earth. She remembers this bunker way too clearly and it may be the fault of her swollen belly. She opens the notebook and sees the sketches she made when life was easier. Finn’s face hurts, so does Wells’s and her father’s. And then the faces of the people who left appear in her head and Clarke closes the notebook. She cannot take the pain right now. She closes her eyes and can still smell death around here like it never left her.

She doesn’t regret it; she can’t regret it when she sees her friends laughing and living a quite easy life here. But the weight is a heavy one to carry and she bears it. She bears so they don’t have to but sometimes, she wishes she could just lean on someone to bear it with her. Lexa tried to be this person but Lexa was not enough, Lexa did not quite understand the pain and the guilt Clarke felt. She almost did and Clarke almost stayed.

Clarke lies on the covers of her makeshift bed and closes her eyes, massaging her belly and humming softly for her unborn child. He or she is the reason why she came back. Another reason for her to see her mother and her people and face her guilt. Raven had the right to know and be in the child’s life. This unborn unplanned child had a right to know his/her family and be raised among his own. Clarke never thought the grounders would accept this little innocent child knowing what his/her father had done to their people. Lexa said they would never hurt the child because she wouldn’t allow it, because her people were not savages enough to hurt an innocent child because of his/her lineage.

That day they fought. That day Lexa tried to keep Clarke with her and Clarke was only trying to find more excuses without knowing it.

A loud noise crashes in Clarke’s tent and she instinctively reaches for the knife at her hip. She almost growls holding out the knife but quickly drops it, letting herself fall back on the bed. The knife hits the floor as his knees do so. He rests his face on her legs and she slowly starts to soothe him, caressing his short hair. She knows what he wants to say and she forgives him – because she will always forgive him his mistakes and his mistaken pride.

“It’s okay, Bellamy. I’m okay.” He raises his head and stares at her like she’s the sun and he just wants to get burned by her. She puts her hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes leaning in her touch. She smiles and wants to cry at the same time. It took him three days to come to her and she would have given more time if he had needed it. She can’t blame him for assuming the worst. She can’t blame him for being broken at the sight of her bearing another man’s child.

She did break his heart before and it breaks hers everytime she thinks about it.

“I’m sorry. I should have known. I was stupid.” She forces him to rise and sit by her side on the bed. She listens to him as he tries to explain his behavior but she does not care at all, she just stares at the way his mouth moves, counts down his freckles and notices the small wrinkles around his eyes. She wants to smile but the deep black circles around his eyes just stop her half-way.

“How long since you’ve slept properly?” He winces and laughs. She wants to scowl him but they both know she would have been the first to take double shifts to allow the kids some more sleep and a little bit more entertainment. She would have been the first – or the second, Bellamy could be fast – to give her blanket to a shivering child in the deepest and coldest of the winter.

“I missed you,” is all he can say. She nods and kneels down in front of him. He frowns and she starts undoing his combat boots. He protests and tries to stop her, but she glares at him and he knows better than to piss off a pregnant Clarke. So he just lets her take off his shoes, then his jacket and Bellamy ends up tucked under her covers. He rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at him.

He is afraid to ask the question and he doesn’t need to when she joins him under the covers and snuggles into his arms. He is a bit startled by the situation but he wraps his arms over her and just holds her closer. Bellamy is careful not to squeeze her too much for she is a bit more fragile than she used to be. He knows she is not okay yet, as she said earlier. Raven told him she stayed with the grounders – with Lexa. He does not resent her for it but his heart just aches a bit because she did not seek his comfort then.

But now she does.

He breathes in her scent and he feels the muscle of her face move. She is smiling and so is Bellamy. He feels stupid for assuming the worst of her and keeps chastising himself. He wants to earn her forgiveness but knows he already has done it.

“I’ll help you. I’ll be there.” She shifts to face him and he is amazed by the deep blue of her eyes. “We’ll all help you. Raven will teach her mechanics. Octavia and Lincoln will make a fierce out of her. Your mother will heal her skinned knees. Monty will make a fool of himself for her.” She can picture it in her mind and the thought makes her genuinely smile at him. She raises a hand to his chest and looks at it, then looks up at him.

“And you’ll teach her about history and mythology. But what if it’s a boy?”

He chuckles and cups her face with his huge rough hands. “Nah, ever heard of the Griffin women?” She rolls her eyes and he presses a soft kiss to her lips.

She sighs when he pulls back and she snuggles in his embrace, already falling asleep.

She’ll be okay, she thinks before sinking into the realm of dreams.

So will little Lya Griffin.

**Author's Note:**

> Of course it's Finn's child from that time in the bunker. Whatever the girls used to control birth on the Ark stopped working for some of them and considering the timing (it's barely been two months since they landed when Clarke leaves). She must be about 7 months pregnant. 
> 
> I called Clarke's daughter Lya, because I couldn't call her Aurora (leave it for her and Bellamy's own daughter haha), and because Clarke would have wanted a strong name for her daughter. And obviously she would have been a book nerd on the Ark and read ASOIAF and of course fell in love with Lyanna Mormont and Lyanna Stark (yeah I'm an ASOIAF nerd too).
> 
> I came with this idea a few days ago and I needed to write it down. Of course Raven would know first, and Octavia second. And Bellamy would be jealous, and hurt and it's understandable I guess. I hope I wasn't out of character and that you liked it :) Please, tell me what you thought of it! 
> 
> If you want to join me on tumblr, my url is bloodysteel too!


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